27 today - Today I turn 27! That age that suddenly makes you realise you are heading toward your 30s. It’s the first time I have been pregnant on my birthday, which m...
22 minutes ago
As children many people learnt from a very early age that they needed to become, 'a good nice person'. To become the 'good nice person' they needed to stop the development of who they could be, and became who they thought they should be.That statement certainly rings true for me. Which begs the question "Why the hell are you trying to be an artist?". Well, for the past 9 years or so I've been studying, training and working to be someone I just can't cope being. The only thing that inspires me to get out of bed in the morning and face the world is the prospect of drawing, creating, stitching and building my little empire of artiness. Self-absorbed and selfish? Maybe. But I'm far happier now than I have been for most of my life. Trying to fit in with 'normal society' with a stable 9-5 job ended up making me depressed and suicidal. Umm, obviously art is working for me, no?
The end result of this is low self esteem, fear of being abandoned/rejected, that people won't love or like us, and feelings of intense loneliness and helplessness. Being who we think we should be, creates enormous personal stress as we try to be perfect in every area of our life, including our inability to say 'no' even when we want and need to. Over time 'something' has to give and the development of an anxiety disorder begins.