Descending to Ascend

Hand-stitched Kikki.K card for a friend

Cryptic title I agree. But if you're in the mood for self-development and healthy change stories - via bread making - then this may be a blog post for you.

I've been going through a lot of changes of late. The big, life-changing, soul-searching variety. After several years of feeling lost and out of place I've finally had my light-bulb moment. As with most people it took a series of traumatic events to catapult it, and while they were painful to go through I don't regret them because they have brought me to the place I'm at right now.

Often when we go seeking help, we're not actually ready to see what's right in front of us. It takes quite a long time to actually see things as they really are. It's a necessary process. It's taken me about six years to reach my light bulb moment. A moment where I saw how I was directing my life simply through the way that I think. That all the negativity, discord and trauma were a result of how I was thinking, a mode of thinking that was a combined result of upbringing, education, environment etc etc.

Snap-shots from my every day

We take what we've learned and continue practicing it, even though it's out of sync with our true nature, is negative and self-sabotaging. Sure, you can blame other people who taught you those things, but eventually (with luck) you see that you are both the problem, but also the solution (in the immortal words of Megan from Bridesmaids).

So I'm in a state of change and adjustment. It's going to take me a while to get good at all this new way of thinking and living. Some of the books I'm reading that have been guiding, inspiring and reassuring are:

• The Heroine's Journey - by Maureen Murdock (aimed more at women 40+ who are what's known as "father's daughters" - apparently I share their issues, even though I'm in my 20s. Maybe you do too).
• Creative Visualization - Shakti Gawain (basically the pioneer book from the '70s about how to use meditation, visualization etc to create the life you want).
• You Can Heal Your Life - by Louise Hay (she's written heaps of books, audio-books, workbooks etc on how to change the way you think and thus change your life).
• Tao Te Ching - by Lao Tzu (there are various translations, I've actually been listening to the audio version by Ursula K. LeGuin).

But enough of that, let's get to the bread-making! As part of the health changes I'm making I'm reducing my wheat intake and switching to gluten-free options. I'm also reducing my lactose intake. I say reducing because I believe that these changes should be moderate rather than extreme. Get to know what triggers your body and adjust accordingly, but I like to keep to the general rule of a variety and balance of everything.

Hand-stitching a Typo card for Mother's Day, my window, new hair & shades

Many of the gluten-free breads in store have a cake-like consistency, and the bread mixes you can buy still contain some ingredients that are a bit too chemical for me. So I decided to make my own version and include all those good grains and seeds with heaps of nutritional value - it makes sense to me to include all those things in something as staple as bread - you're eating all the good stuff without having to think about it (I'm also adding All-Bran, millet meal and quinoa to my rustic style muesli, another no-thinking-involved option).

Unfortunately, when you take the wheat out of bread you take the gluten, the stuff that binds the dough together. So most recipes out there have extensive ingredient lists in order to create a glutenous texture. They also tend to be a bit on the chemical side (i.e xanthan gum, I'm sorry but I wouldn't even know where to find that in a supermarket). So in my usual style I researched all the ingredients to find out why they're in recipes, and then researched more natural alternatives.

I've decided to create a separate, short post with just the recipe, so hang tight for that. After two failed attempts I am yet to replicate the amazing fluffiness I achieved accidentally the first time. But I think I've almost got it - so I reckon the recipe will be up in the next few days.

In the meantime, hold on to your knickers for one more hour for my next blog post. I've created a meal/exercise planner that's fun and easy to use, in both weekly and daily options!